No lunch for me today.
I’m on a new diet called “I have five dollars until Friday.”
Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.
“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”
omfg this is great
New favorite comeback.
being a girl is really fucking expensive
hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES
hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?
god bless this
are you staring at me because you’re checking me out or are you staring at me because i’m ugly
aries: bro ho
taurus: realest ho
gemini: fake ho
cancer: sensitive ho
leo: cool ho
virgo: bitch ho
libra: smart ass ho
scorpio: best ho
sagittarius: chill ho
capricorn: bitter ho
aquarius: crazy ho
pisces: magical ho
why are these so real
bank: your account is at -$5000….
bank: sorry for wasting your time sir, you have a nice day.